Full disclosure here: I loath Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy and the director of Ted, with a passion hotter than the recent heat wave. Family Guy is a mediocre show that has occasional humorous moments, but the political humor is so disgustingly slanted that I find it hard to watch most of the time (is it really okay to have a character with Down Syndrome who's mother is a "former governor of Alaska" appear? You can say what you want about Sarah Palin; lord knows I've taken my fair share of shots at her. But even I would draw the line at poking fun at her disabled children).
Now on to Ted. The premise is fairly simple, yet quite brilliant. In 1985, a young boy named John Bennett is so enthralled with the teddy bear he received for Christmas that he wishes for it to have the ability to walk and talk. The wish comes true, and John goes through adolescence and into adulthood with his bear, who became a minor celebrity after his abilities were discovered and somewhat obviously named Ted, as his best friend.
Flash forward to the present day, and we find that John and Ted are still living together. John (Mark Wahlberg) is working a mediocre job at a car rental company, and Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) has become his deadbeat roommate, constantly swearing, smoking pot, and messing around with prostitutes. John's successful office-worker girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis), finally convinces John to help Ted move out of the apartment and start his own life. Ted is able to get a cashier job at a local supermarket and a mediocre apartment, but adjusting to life without each other proves to be difficult for John and Ted. There's also a side plot where a creepy father (Giovanni Ribisi) continually attempts to buy Ted as a gift for his overweight and equally creepy son.
Ted isn't a great movie, but it's not horrible either. It is very funny, at some points, but the story-line falls rather flat because the main plot and the side plot interact in such a way that the viewer is confused as to which is which by the movie's climax. MacFarlane does an adequate job of voicing Ted, but he also sounds far too similar to Peter Griffiin. Mark Wahlberg delivers a suprisingly funny performance, given his dramatic background, but Mila Kunis comes off as flat and one-dimensional. The style of humor is very reminiscent of Family Guy, if the show was completely uncensored and had an actual plot, and there were some scenes that would factor in perfectly when animated.
I suppose if you had nothing else to do, Ted wouldn't be a bad thing to go see. At the very least, you'll laugh. Jack's Final Grade: C
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